I wish
by Fabina57
Summary: Patricia Williams is getting married. She tells herself she is fine. But when an unexpected visitor arrives a month before the wedding, she starts to question her decisions. She wonders about what could have been.
1. Chapter 1

It's him. It's always been him. Only him. When I think of the one I love, I think of those bright blue eyes staring back at me, his perfect lips forming the words that made me freeze. So why am I marrying this guy? You tell me. I think I am fooling myself. Trying convince myself I have moved on. But I hadn't. My feet are planted firmly in the grounds of high school. I can't go back, but I can't move forward. So I stand here. Wait for someone to unhinge my feet and tear me out of this life. I go through the motions, pretend like I am happy, but I am not. It's hard. I wish I could go back. I wish I could have responded. I wish I had said the 3 simple words that would've made all the difference. I love you Jerome Clark.

Chapter One

"PATRICIA!" My fiancé screamed at me. "Where is my hat?"  
"Why would I know?" I screamed back, just as forcefully. Devin walked in the kitchen, fuming. I could almost see the steam coming out of his ears.

"I am going to ask this one more time, where is my hat?" He said in a strict, but calm voice.

"I don't know."

"Yes, you do."

"Why would I know?"

"Because you don't want to marry me anymore. I hear you talking in your sleep at night talking about that boy from high school."

"I don't like him anymore."

"Good. Because you are marrying me."

"Fine." I said and went back to making breakfast. Devin is good, but he has a temper.

"Babe, I'm sorry." He said going up to me. "I love you." He kissed me softly.

"I love you too." I whispered. "I'm getting the mail." I slipped past him and out the door. I went through the mail, standing there not registering what I was reading. Lost in my thoughts from what Devin said. Just as I was shutting the plain, black mailbox, I heard a voice. A playful voice that held so many memories, one that I only dreamed of hearing again.

"Patricia, is that you?"


	2. Chapter 2

hanhanluvsHOA- Thanks! I was liteally jumping up and down when I saw someone liked it! I know, kinda sad, but thanks!

Chapter 2

"Jerome Clark." I replied without turning around. I would know that voice anywhere.  
"Is that really you, Patricia?" He said.  
I put on a stone-faced expression and turned around to face those warm, smirking eyes. Oh, he was as handsome as ever. As soon as I layed my gaze upon him, my heart melted. I could almost feel my hard expression fall off my face. "Jerome Clark." I repeated with curiosity.  
"Well it is you. You know, this is usually the point where you invite me inside." He said, playful as ever.  
I motioned for him to follow me, and turned on my heel towards the door.  
"Devin?" I called out.  
"Yes sweetie?" He replied.  
I cringed, and turned to Jerome. "Sweetie?" He said playfully. I thought I saw something flash behind his eyes. Pain? Regret? Something... or nothing. I brushed off the feelings. We entered the kitchen where Devin had taken over the food. The smell of bacon filled the air.  
Devin looked up at me with questioning eyes. I explained, "This is Jerome, Jerome Clark. He was my b-" I struggled to come up with the right words. "He went to high school with me. And Jerome," I turned to him, "this is Devin. My fiance."  
For a moment there was a look of surprise, regret, betrayal on Jerome's face. Not one to show emotions, it passed after a second. "Well, congrats!" He said with mock pleasure. "When is the wedding?"  
"Next month. Well, if you aren't busy, you could come?" I asked unsure.  
"Umm... I don't want to intrude." Wow. He had manners now.  
"No, I insist." I handed him an invitation. We had extras in the drawer, in case there were last minute guests. "I tried finding all of our old friends from House of Anubis, but wasn't able to contact Mara, Mick, and you." Truthfully, I was. I couldn't bring myself to dial those numbers, let alone send him an invitation to my wedding! Mara couldn't come because she was travelling the world, and Mick had some big competition that weekend. But how would I look if he found out that I invited everyone but him?  
"Uh, ok. Thanks." He said.  
"Well, Jerome, why don't you join us for breakfast?" said Devin with disgust. He obviously did not like Jerome. He was just being polite.  
"Well actually I have to be going. I was on my way to meet someone else for breakfast. Bye!" He turned towards the door.  
I got a bad feeling in my stomach. What if it was a girl? I stopped him, "Hold on! Let me walk you out."  
He whispered, "Ok, Patricia but I don't think Mr. Grumpy-Pants over there will like it." I stifled a laugh. Nope, he hadn't changed. He was still Jerome Clark, the one I loved. No, scratch that, I loved Devin. But my heart told me otherwise.


	3. Chapter 3

**Do we have to put in a disclaimer? Well, I do not own HOA. Same goes for the other 2 chapters.**

Chapter 3: Choices

Hey that 3: Looks like a moustached face! (3: Or (}: HAHAHA! Sorry, back on topic! Next chapter! Please comment! Thanks!

When we got to the end of the driveway I couldn't bring myself to turn around and go back. So I gave him an awkard smile and asked, "Where are you going?"  
Jerome answered, "To that little cofee shop down that way." He pointed towards the right.  
"Uh, well, I know it's none of my buisness, but who are you meeting?" I asked.  
"Well, Patricia, if it's none of your buisness then why are you asking?" He said with a smirk. I punched him on the arm. "OW! I'm just meeting Amber, she is helping me look for an apartment." For a minute my heart soared, he would be moving here! Then I shook it off and reminded myself that I wasn't some love sick school girl, and I was getting married soon.  
"Well, I can't let you walk all that way by yourself. Let's go." I said trying to contain my smile. I grabbed his hand and started walking.  
"Uh... Patricia, it's the other way."  
"I knew that! I just like walking in circles." I said with a hint of sarcasm. I spun around and marched the other way with Jerome towing behind me. I sent a quick text to Devin, 'Catching up with Jerome and Amber, eat with out me, be home in a bit. Love you.' Besides, Devin had left me sitting lonely at the table many days when he went out, whether it was work, or who know what?  
The walk with Jerome was the best. We talked about everything, I was almost sad when we arrived. Amber spotted us through the window.  
"Jerome! Over here! Oh and I see you brought a girlfr... wait, Patricia?" She screamed for the whole world to hear. I quickly dropped Jerome's hand before she went all "OMG PATROME!" on me. The bell rang when we entered the cute little cofee shop. The air was nice and warm inside, a nice change from England's cold autumn days. The smells of coffee and pastries floated around making me inhale deeply. Jerome saw me and flashed me a bright white smile that had the effect on me that nothing else did. Amber was dressed in a ridiculously loud outfit, fit with giant pumps. She wore a bright pink, completely sequined top that screamed, "Look here! Sheild your eyes from the sparkle!" Along with jeans that were so tight that they looked painted on. Her jacket was more neutral, just a giant fluffy white coat. Neutral for Amber, I mean.  
"Hey Amber." I said. Amber lived right down the street from me with Alfie, her husband. Eddie lived in the apartent building fairly close. Fabian and Nina lived close by too, and Joy lived disturbingly close to them. They had been engaged for a while, but hadn't done any planning. They were waiting for their book on Egypt to be published first, so they could have the money to afford a nice wedding. I could expect more drama from them and Joy at my wedding. Whenever Joy is within a spitting distance from Nina, you can expect her to spit.  
"Patricia! I wasn't expecting you here with Jerome." She raised her eyebrows at me.  
"Well, I should probobly be going back. It was nice seeing you Jerome." I said wistfully.  
"You could stay if you like." Jerome hopefully said. Maybe it was hopefulness. Mabe it was disgust.  
"No, it's ok. I really do have to be going." I started to walk out with a little wave.  
"Wait! Let me get your phone number so we can talk more." Jerome called out.  
"Uhh... ok." I grabbed a napkin from the table and scribbled my number onto it. I left before Amber said anything embarrising.  
But still I heard her call out, "Oh Patrome! You know she's engaged, right?"


	4. Chapter 4

**This chapter is dedicated to my one and only reveiwer (Possibly only reader), hanhanluvshoa. Thanks so much! I thought of you while writing it! And if anyone else is reading this, go check out her fanfics! She is really good! I was on a roll last night so I wrote 2 chapters. I will post the other one soon! I do not own HOA.**

Chapter 4

"Hello?" It was late afternoon, 2 weeks before my wedding. And I was dreading every second closer to it. I just picked up my phone, and after not hearing from Jerome for 2 weeks, I was not too thrilled to hear his voice.  
"Hey, Trixie. I'm sorry for not calling sooner, I was... uh... busy." I guess we were back to the old nicknames.  
"Whatever. What do you want?" I answered.  
"Well, we haven't seen each other since we were 18 and that was... 6 years ago, so I was wondering if maybe you wanted to have dinner with me. And the rest of Anubis too, of course." He quickly added.  
"I suppose." I tried to sound nonchalant about it, but I really was beaming.  
************THAT NIGHT******************  
"Hey Trixie!" Alfie yelled in my ear. "Where am I driving to?" I had to get a ride with Amber and Alfie since Devin had the car.  
I climbed in, "That new fancy-smanchy resturaunt downtown." The rest of the ride was silent, with the occasional smirk or raised eyebrows from Amber in the passengers seat. Alfie was driving, thankfully, so he didn't see her. We arrived at the resturaunt, and I almost jumped out while the car was still moving. I couldn't stand Amber and her faces. Fabian, Nina, and Joy already had a table saved for us. They were the same as ever, with 'Fabina' making googly eyes at each other and Joy glaring across the table, no doubt coming up with a plan to ruin Nina's life.  
"OW! JOY!" Nina screamed at a smirking Joy. We approached the table with Alfie laughing like a maniac at the drama between them two.  
"What happened?" I asked.  
"Joy kicked me." Nina grumbled.  
"I'm here! Now the party can start." Jerome came up to the table with a very pretty girl in tow. Her clothes looked like she was the type of girl to only wear desighner clothing, the type of girl that brags about it, the type that I hate. She was wearing sparkles on her eyelids and designer boots. Her dress was a crazy white dress with ruffles all over. The whole thing shimmered. The jewelery was ridiculous. With the money she used to buy all of those gems, she could feed a whole village in Africa. The necklace took up her whole neck and her earings reached her shoulders.  
"Who's this Jerome?" I asked, trying to sound uninterested.  
"Umm... this is Lilly. My girlfriend." He said while my heart dropped down into my stomach. I sat not talking while Jerome introduced Lilly to everybody. She was nice. Too nice. I suspected something from the start. There was something up with this girl.  
"I'm going to use the restroom." I said after we ordered our food.  
"I'll come with you!" Lilly said a little too cheerfully and a little too excited.  
When I came out of the stall Lilly was leaning against the sink with a mischevious smile on her face. Her sweet tone from earlier suddenly changed into something a lot meaner. "So, Patricia, right?" I gave a little nod and scooted around her to the sink. "Of course your Patricia. Jerome seems to have an interest in... dirty girls." She made sure to emphasize "dirty" like she didn't want me to miss it. "So garbage girl, I just want to tell you to stay away from Jerome. He's mine. I know you still like him, and don't think I don't see the way he looks at you. Like an old pair of shoes that he just can't bear to throw away. You two obviously had something, but it's over. He doesn't know what he's feeling, pretty soon you and him will both realize that he DOESN'T LIKE YOU. I don't want you talking to him, touching him, and I don't even want you to look at him. Actually, it may be for the best if you just leave now." She gave me a fake smile and turned around to fix her perfectly applied make-up. "But careful garbage girl, it's raining! Better bundle up because no one's going to drive you home!" She put her lips into a little pout like she was actually sad for me. Her evil tone changed back into a sugary sweet voice. "Bye GG!"  
I stormed out. What was I thinking? He didn't like me, and I was getting married. So why did I come? No matter, I will let Lilly have the satifaction of me leaving. Normally I would punch someone like that, but there was no need to. She had Jerome, and I had Devin. She was right, there was no need for me to be here, I wasn't going to fight. Instead I walked proudly by our table and out the door. I heard a chair move from our table and someone get up. Heavy footsteps started following me out the door and into the pouring rain.


	5. Chapter 5

**Another comment! Thanks! This is the other chapter that I finished. I am dedicating this to my ceiling buds, 1000years1, Tcheshire, and Katniss Annabeth Nina 824. Go check them out. They are the best! Please reveiw. Thanks! I do not own HOA.**

Chapter 5

The rain pelted down on any exposed surface. I didn't stop until a sturdy hand was placed on my shoulder. I spun around, ready to tell them to back off. Surprisingly, it was Jerome. "Hey, what happened?" He asked.  
"Uh, nothing. I just want to go home." I said, very concious of his hand still placed on my shoulder.  
The rain didn't show any sighn of letting up.  
"Well at least let me drive you."  
"I, uh, don't think that that's a good idea."  
"I can't just let you walk home in the freezing cold and pouring rain!"  
The rain pounded down, I was getting soaked now.  
"I'm fine." I was being stubborn.  
"Come on." He was so cute with his sopping wet hair and his raised eyebrow saying, 'you're ridiculous.'  
The rain kept going, seeming to get louder and louder.  
"Here, take my jacket." He placed his jacket over my thin sweater and around my shoulders.  
I didn't say anything. He smirked, and it seemed he knew the affect he had on me. I just glared, trying to hide my emotions.  
I was sure I was going to get a cold in this rain.  
"Come on." He nudged his head towards the resturaunt.  
"Why? Why do you care?" I started walking.  
The rain beat down harder.  
"I care about you."  
I turned around and looked at him. Like really looked. Into his eyes. Into his heart. What was he playing at? His blue, twinkling eyes, swept hair, perfect lips forming a perfect smile. It was almost too much. Regret flooded my stomach. How I wanted to kiss him, how I wanted him back. He stepped closer.  
The rain stopped. Everything was quiet.  
His face was an inch away, his bright blue eyes closing. This was it. But I couldn't. I couldn't kiss him. I didn't want that to happen again. So threw the jacket at him and turned on my heals and fled.  
Every step of my run pounded on the sidewalk. The quietness of the rain stopping earlier was gone. It was coming down, harder than ever, with thunder and lightning now. Once I was far enough away, I sat down on the sidewalk, right in a puddle, and cried.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~6 years ago~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Patricia and Jerome had been dating for 4 months now. Eddie and Mara were dating, not like Particia cared. They had broken up, but were still friends. It wasn't awkward for anyone, it was like it never happened. She was heading downstairs for her date with Jerome. Too bad it never happened. It was going to be quite a lovely date too. Poor Jerome. He had an extravagent night planned. Soon Patricia and Jerome were walking to the woods where a picnick was waiting for their arrival. "So Patricia, how is everything?" Jerome asked nervously.  
"Good. What's wrong?" She suspected something was up.  
"Uh, nothing I just have something to tell you."  
"Well, what is it?" She asked.  
"Patricia, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on. As soon as you opened you mouth and told me to shut up, I fell. I am usually not all mushy, but Patricia, I love you." He said in one breath.  
She was frozen. She couldn't speak. She wanted to say something, but couldn't. No one had ever been that nice. She just stared at him in shock.  
"Well? I just poured my heart and soul out, and you just stand there. Is it good silence, or bad?" He said, looking uncomfortable.  
She couldn't do anything. Except run. She managed to make out over the wind above the pounding of her heart, "I'll take that as bad silence. I love you Patricia. I'm sorry."  
~*~*~*~*~*~*Present Time~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Remembering my stupid mistake, causing me to lose the one I loved, I sobbed even louder. My shoulders heaved and my tears blended in with the rain. The rain had soaked through my skinny jeans. My thin sweater was stuck to my back. My hair was heavy from the water it filled. I gave up on the flats. They were ruined from the rain so I kicked them off. But I didn't move from my puddle. I sat, stubborn as ever, pitying myself.


	6. So sorry!

Ok I'm soo sorry! I am going away for 3 weeks to Mexico, and will not have wifi for 3 weeks... I love you all! Bunches of new chapters when I get back!


	7. Chapter 6

Well I am back! And having a bit of writers block for my other fanfic 'New Year, New York'. So it might be a while. Sorry!

Disclamer- I do not own HOA.

REVEIW!

* * *

Chapter 6  
I woke up in a place that was not my house. The walls were a light cream color. The couch was a really clean white, it was almost blinding. I instantly recognized it as Amber and Alfies apartment. As if on cue, Amber walked through the door. "Amber, what am I doing here?" I asked.  
"Oh, well last night," She replied, "Jerome walked home alone, Lilly had to leave early, he stumbled across you. You were asleep on the ground. In a puddle! Like, really Trix? Do you know how dangerous that is? There are crazy people out there! And not to mention what it could do to your clothes! Oh don't even get me started, I mean-"  
"Wait, where is Jerome staying?" I cut her off before she could scream more.  
"Here, while he gets an apartment. He carried you here. You were knocked out! You must have been really tired! But it was SO sweet how Jerome carried you in! He was so gentle and nice, it was a TOTAL Patrome moment. And when he thought I wasn't looking, he even kissed you on the forehead!"  
I blushed a deep crimson and lied back down. I heard Amber bustle into the kitchen, making breakfast. With ninja-like skills, I crept out the apartment and out into the morning sun.  
"OUCH! Watch where you're going!" I snapped at the man who bumped into me.  
"Well, I would think you would be nicer to the guy who took you out of the rain." Jerome said with a smirk.  
I blushed for the second time in 5 minutes and turned around. "I would think someone who has any brain in their head would watch where they are going." I fired back. I subconsciously realized that I was still in the clothes from last night, and my hair was a mess.  
"No thank you? I would think someone with a heart would at least give me that." There was that smirk again.  
"Wipe that look off your face! I have to go." I tried to turn, but he grabbed my arm. "Not funny. Let me go."  
"Not until I get a thank you!" I swear, that look will be the end of me.  
"Thanks." I barley mumbled.  
"Excuse me? What was that?"  
"THANK YOU! BY GOD, THANK YOU! I owe you my life! Who knows what could have happened to me! THANK YOU SO MUCH! And may you get compensation for your AMAZING act of kindness! YOU ARE SUCH AN AMAZING PERSON! May I go now?" I sarcastically said.  
"Now Patricica, was that sincere?"  
"NO." I stomped off abnd down the street. Away from HIM.

* * *

I wrote a poem. I can't find the notebook it is in, so I will share it with you later! Goodbye.


End file.
